Well after what feels like forever I decided to stop being such a perfectionist or caring what I look like on camera so a little video project I’ve had on the back burner since the beginning of this year is almost ready to deliver.
Is publishing it scary? Of course however the feeling of sitting on a project and not releasing it feels worse particularly when you’ve prided yourself on not giving a fig of what people in general think about you. ( Incidentally, dried figs are always welcome… delicious bastards.)
Before life kicked me around some I used to really back myself when it came to my creative endeavors, like devil may care backing myself… none of this ooh I wonder if people will like it business. It was shameless and I felt so much pride in my little drawings, songs and other random bits of silliness that I produced.
I’m not entirely sure when that changed but I’d really like to get back there instead of what I do now where I fill notebooks with storylines, character sketches, lyrics and chords only to hide them away without them ever seeing the light of day.
Is there a point to art if it’s not seen? A point to music if it’s not heard? Or a point to a story if it’s not told?
I’ve decided I need to get through this mental barrier so that I can spark my light again, it’s been almost 10 years since I suffered a mental breakdown and I’m tired of letting all this self doubt control my life and dull my creativity.
Like Albert Camus said ” Live to the point of tears.”
Menace Bunny 